Chemo round five occurred on September 30th – it was, like every other round, an anxiety ridden couple of days leading up to that round. Just when I’m starting to feel a bit “better”, just as my body feels like it’s starting to slowly repair itself, just when I’m able to eat “normal” again, just as I can start really playing with the kids, just as I start to sort of feel like “me” – I get the ONE/TWO take down chemo PUNCH and I’m out again! However, knowing that after this round I could say “I HAVE ONE MORE ROUND OF CHEMO LEFT” was really empowering. I longed to say those words to the mom who asked me at Brody’s soccer practice how many more rounds I have to go, or to Sadie’s Little Gym teacher who wanted to know how much longer I had… finally, I could say, I HAVE ONE MORE ROUND TO GO!!
My mommy was my chemo buddy for the day and we had a great time chatting away. The Bendryl, which kicked my booty the first few times I received it via IV, wasn’t even that bad this time. I wasn’t knocked out and was able to maintain a full conversation the entire time. I’m sad I didn’t get to take a pic of the two of us together because we were really too engrossed with looking up recipes, Christmas ideas etc… it was a good day despite the occasion!
For some reason, chemo round five didn’t knock me out quite as badly as chemo round four. I think round 4 was by far the worst round for me because of the shot I had to get afterwards to boost my white blood cell count. This time, my white blood count was much better (at least the shot worked) and I didn’t have to get it, which I believe helped this round go a little more smoothly. Sure I was tired, nauseous, pained, fatigued, pukey etc… but I was able to get out of bed every day, even the dreaded “DAY 3” after chemo, which has, over the past 4 rounds, been my worst day in the cycle. I was up, heck I even did some work and took the kids outside to play for a little – it was a small victory. It was like I was saying, “Take THAT Chemo day 3″ I WIN – YOU LOSE!! Even if just for 30 minutes, I felt pretty darn good that day. It was almost like I was back to normal…or whatever ” normal” may be. I survived round 5…I wasn’t even “down and out” that long. Is my body just getting used to this terrible chemo cycle? Am I just learning to live like this – tired, fatigued, sick etc..? Am I just one bad ass mama who won’t let anything get in the way of her recovery for her kids? Maybe…or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I “see the light at the end of the tunnel”…
The next time I get chemo (Tuesday) will be my LAST ROUND…EVER! Yep, I said it- It’s a bold statement I know, but I see the light… I’m getting closer to being done! I WIN!! HALLELUJAH I WIN!! I made it…one more round – happy dance happy dance happy dance and a big “FU CANCER!” Sing it with me…na na na na – na na na na – HEY HEY HEY GOOD BYE!! And HELLO to getting my hair back… because right now, I’m so tired of looking like James and Giant Peach!!